How to deal with this casual relationship.?

I met a guy in october 2008, we were texing for a while the started to meet up in november there was a few problems but now the problems have gone and we have been quite serious since april ( when he told me he loved me) I havent said it back to him yet, but i really want/need to. We have tea together spend nights at eachothers and stay over. we used to go out and do things and go out for dinner, but now we never go out in public, we are not going out or official ( bf/gf ) and has recently said he doesnt want to be official and he is not ready. but I am so unhappy. I dont see him as much any more I didnt see him and christmas and he said he wont be there for my birthday It obvious that he views me as a casual relationship or a friend with benifits, but i really want something seious now. I cry all the time and i cant help it I hate it because I want some sort of commitment and I miss him all the time. I want it to be serious now and I want him tobe my boyfriend. I was just looking for some advice. Thank you.